Friday, 24 February 2017

Sentimental losses

My heart is aching tonight. It’s been a tough week with another stint in the hospital due to my unexplained allergic reactions and I started with my studies after receiving all the info from Unisa (at last).

This morning I realized my wedding ring was gone... after our domestic worker brought her cousin with yesterday (another story), so there really is no other explanation to what happened to the ring (only 4 people where in this house of which one I didn't know) as I clearly remembered a 110% where I put it yesterday before I popped out quickly. I'm extremely meticulous (like in super duper meticulous) and know exactly where my rings were when I left home. I would not even write this blog is I wasn't so sure of my case.

So now you may ask…your wedding ring…? But you are divorced. Yes yes I kept my wedding band after I sold the engagement ring. Said ring became like a symbolic force of what I’ve been through and I’ve been wearing that ring every single day on my right hand…a reminder that I am still stronger than my failures, I am still coping with my divorce and a reminder that although promises can be broken I still stand firm in mine. A promise to never give up, to push through in tough times. What breaks me, is that even though the promise was broken between me and my ex-husband, I still made a promise to God. I still have to work some things out with Him. 

Now it is gone and I feel a bit lost. I’m not a materialistic person, but I am a sentimental one. Everything (well most things) can be replaced, but the significance and symbolic nature cannot. Now the only mark I carry with me is the one in my heart, and sometimes it’s difficult to relate to the heart and be reminded if you don't have a visual. Maybe it was meant to be, and just another part of that life that I needed to let go. I don't know....I'm a bit loss for words here.

Ironic how the symbol of promise and trust got stolen because I trusted too much and believed in the good of human beings. Guess I got proven wrong again.